The Story of the Break Off Poo

I don't like crapping in public bathrooms. It's uncomfortable and unfamiliar. Your always sitting there ready to unload a Deuce McCallister when the random guy in the stall next to you starts breathing heavy. Next thing you know, you prairie dog it like a bad habit and have to wipe till you start seeing red. Break off that poo! Diddly poo if you ask Jim Mora. Now, playing battle shits with a buddy is a different story (Bogdan shout out) altogether though done in a public bathroom as well.  What does this have to do with hockey? Nothing. That was for you Ronald McDonald AKA 6'3 195, I'm so hot right now.

Now Polar Bear said I wasn't referential enough in my last post and since he/she makes up half of my total readers, I figure I should honor his request.

- 2-0 motherfuckas. Thank you Price for that start but NO I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU! (Billy Madison ref) Damn, I know he's Native and all but that goes to far. I think you deserve a benching. Halak a lot, you start next game.

- I was kidding JM, Price is money right now. So money. No one has been that money since Favreau made like Mr. Bojangles and swept Heather Graham off her feet (Swingers ref). Okay, so Halak is starting next game. I'm not happy about it cause I believe a hot goalie should be ridden like a finely aged hooker with cheap perfume who laughs at your naked body but you going back for more cause it's best you can afford (Balls of Fury ref). And no one is as hot as Price right now. We'll see if JM is right and I am wrong.

- Marc-Andre Bergeron is a Hab now. Pro's: He's got a Rocket Unit arm (Havas ref) and he's French. Con's: He can't play D, plays like a little girl and he speaks French. Our top D-men still have to pick up the slack. Here's looking at you Spacek, and no, not talking about "They're all going to laugh at you" Coal Miner's Daughter Spacek. That would be a blast from the past (Blast from the Past ref). I'm talking about Jaroslav Spacek. Step up (back into the streets) and deserve your 3+ mil per year.

- Smurf Line is the bomb. They keep prevailing when everything is against them. Kind of like the Zombieland crew. Gionta is Woody and keeps killing the enemy. Cammy is like Jesse Eisenberg cause they are both Jewish. Shalom. Gomez is like Emma Stone cause they are both... ahhh... American. Zombieland has actually nothing to do with the Smurf line, But man was that movie the shit.

I'm tired, gtg. Prediction of the night: Habs 21 Flames 0. Go Habs Go

See mom, no Ron Burgundy refs. I did it, I did it.

Go Fuck Yourself San Diego (Rob Burgundy ref)