Work Your Groove Thing

Hey my loyal and good looking group of followers (Heegs, Skinny, Bogdan, Wigs, Logan Mankins, and the Polar Bear - I didn't forget you Maislin, "You're just so damn ugly." Yes, that was a Planet of the Apes reference. Money in the bank). I'm working right now at my desk and was wondering how I can waste another hour. If your thinking what I'm thinking right now you have a filthy mind. No, I'm actually thinking about hockey blogging which is still kind of filthy. But today I going to mess with the formula 51. I'm going to recap my last 24 hours to give you my state of mind while writing about the Habs which will come after.

Last Night: It was a Frat show on the row for welcome week. I made like Sally Field and got pretty drunk. It was a year ago to the day that I saw this girl who I sat next too in Anthropology casue she's shot and told her "I think you're hot." And the what did she say? And then what he did you say? And then what did she say? (That's for you Sedgewick) We then spent 42 glorious minutes together and then went our own ways. Well last night, one year later, BOOM, she walks into the party. So I'm like "I'm going to have a good night." But then a Frat guy who likes her throws me out on the street. Then I realize my phone is gone and I have work the next day which is why I'm at work right now. Great night. So now I'm hungover writing to you, my loyal and finger lickin' good looking followers. Cool story Hansel. Now the Habs.

Habs

I'm going to make like Ruth Bader Ginsburg (Even Denny Crane thinks she's hot) and make my own hot list of what's on my mind at this very momoent pertaining to the Habs.

1) George Laraque was born to be in one of the those Patrick Chewing commercials. We could call him Laraque Obama or George Chewing. Hilarious!

2) Scott Gomez will get the captaincy cause he's our highest paid player, our first line center, and he can't shut the fuck up. But if I had my choosing it would be Mike Cammalleri cause he's Jewish. How many Jewish captains have there been in NHL history? How 'bout sports history? Maybe Hank Greenberg and Dolph Schayes. That's it. Score one for the Jews Mike.

3) Will Ferrel must make a hockey movie and combine the titles Blades of Glory and Balls of Fury to call the film, Blades of Fury (Balls of Glory just doesn't work as well).

4) This is harder then I thought, the off season is just so damn boring. I should just pass out at a hairdresser. Oh Wait. Check. Done that already.

5) Why does Zooey Deschanel have to be so mean in 5oo Days of Summer? I wish she was more like herself in Yes Man or Failure to Launch. Who am I?

6) I'm out of shit to say so I'll leave you all with a pearl of wisdom: If it's yellow, let it mellow, if it's brown, flush it down. Just kidding. What I meant to say was that it doesn't matter who we bring in or let go, The whole season is predicated on the play of Carey Price. If he steps up like Jenna Dewan, we are in fine shape. If he goes AWOL like Nick in the Deer Hunter then we're screwed. As simple as that.

See you guys on the flip side.